Vegas + History = Macau

Getting into China is a pain. I looked into the proposition with visions of Great Walls dancing in my head. Turns out you need a visa, which costs money and may or may not only be issued at Chinese consulates in the United States. Come to think of it, the only friends I can think of who visited China recently were Canadian. Well, if you can't get into China, do the next best thing: visit the Special Administrative Regions! It's like being in China with less hassle and more capitalism. Having run out of things I wanted to do in Hong Kong, I decided to take the hour long ferry to the former Portugese colony of Macau. I had heard about three main attractions: Portugese food, Portugese architecture, and degenerate gambling facilities. I hoped to sample all three.

My lack of a debit card finally caught up to me, as the ferry terminal only accepted cash. I tried to take cash out with my credit card, but that proved impossible. Fortunately I had $30 in Yankee Cash with me and there was a currency exchange nearby. For the moment that settled the problem as Macau accepts Hong Kong dollars. I purchased my ticket and crafted an ingenious strategy to get some cash in Macau . . . more on that shortly.

I got mildly seasick on the ferry, but it was fascinating to see that all signs and forms used three languages: Chinese, English, and Portugese. I'm not sure how often the Portugese is actually used, but I did hear a few people speaking in what sounded like a Romance language during my stay. We disembarked in the gambling district, which confused me initially. What I believed was a Portugese fort or Confucian temple was in fact part of a cheesy casino, I think. I walked to the historic part of Macau, where I saw some lovely old Portugese buildings which come in some strange colors:



These buildings may not be surprising considering Portgual is the country that produced this guy.

I found a nice Portguese restaurant where I got a stunning sirloin steak encrusted with garlic. It came with a vegetable soup, fries, and rolls. Outstanding, but unfortunately the restaurant was playing some of the worst music of all time, including Celine Dion, Vanessa Williams, Elton John, and that wretched "Every Time You Go Away" song by some guy who I'm not going to even pay the honor of looking up on Google. I didn't think anything could make me miss K-Pop, but there you have it.

Next I checked out some historic sites, including the ruins of a cathedral and the fortress, which now houses the Macau Museum. I walked to the free Macau Grand Prix and Wine Museums. Yes, a museum devoted to drinking is right next door to a museum devoted to driving. You couldn't make it up.

At this point I was starting to get a bit too much color and my ankles - fragile at the best of times - were starting to give out after all the walking and the Adidas assault from the previous day. I decided to put my plan into action. I figured, where are they going to let me take out cash with my credit card? Where would they actually WANT me to be walking around with money in my pocket? The casinos, of course! I thought I'd get some money, play a couple of hands of blackjack, then cash in my chips and be set until my replacement debit card comes.

This plan did not work well.

Not because I pissed away the money, though I did lose about HKD 350 on blackjack before making back a bit on Roulette. The transaction required a 25-minute approval process, with the cashier calling the bank in China, and that bank calling MY bank in the states. Personally, I was thrilled. I was managing to screw both a casino AND a bank at the same time. I'm hoping the long distance charges outweighed the money they gained from my gambling. On top of that, I won a free cup of coffee from the "lucky spin wheel." After a club sandwich and a gin martini, I headed back to the ferry and headed home, in preparation for my flight to Taiwan.

Pictures will be up later. Contact me if you are interested.