So Much For Pan-Africanism, or, THEY TOOK OUR JOBS!

As I mentioned before, African teams, as a whole, were totally underwhelming in this World Cup. Only Ghana escaped from the group stage. This led the people of South Africa to rally behind their fellow Africans. While the USA supposedly brought more fans than any other nation except maybe England, the stadium at the USA vs. Ghana game was solidly pro-Ghana. The South Africans I talked to seemed disappointed when they were eliminated at the hand (literally) of Luis Suarez.

Then I saw this article:

South Africa Braces for New Attacks on Immigrants

"For months, threats have coursed through virtually every township and squatter camp, with warnings that once the final whistle blows, the tourists leave and the world looks away, vuvuzelas and banners will be replaced by torches and panga knives as attacks begin against Zimbabweans, Mozambicans and others."

Yikes. This actually meshes somewhat with my experiences here. Taxi drivers would point to an area and say "That's where Nigerians sell drugs" or "This is where all the Somalians hang out." As we were taking a taxi to the bus depot, we saw police with assault rifles drawn pull over a car and haul the passengers out, all the while shouting "WHERE ARE YOU FROM?!" Today while I was having lunch at the nearby shopping center, two men were angrily yelling and cursing at each other; one was saying "Get out of my country!"

I was in a taxi when I heard a curious program on the radio. Callers were basically confessing bad behavior to friends or family on the air. One man admitted to his sister that he didn't like her Mozambican husband, and in fact broke into her house in an effort to frame him. My driver said that he had married a Zimbabwean woman, and his sister did not approve of this.

This really isn't surprising. I mean the United States is, relatively, ridiculously affluent and we still have tensions over immigration. In a country where roughly one third of the people are unemployed and living conditions have in many cases barely improved since apartheid, the tensions are going to be infinitely higher. There's a paradox here I think, since the South Africans fought for decades to overthrow a system that treated some people as second-class citizens; to now treat foreigners as second-class citizens seems hypocritical in the extreme. Still, as I discussed before, Mandela's dedication to making a "Rainbow Nation" is the major reason that South Africa is more prosperous than its neighbors. It's not fair to say South Africans should suffer from economic competition because Mugabe's Zimbabwe followed a different policy that subsequently led to economic disaster and a mass exodus.

There are perhaps lessons in perspective here for people on both sides of the immigration debate in the United States. For people who think that immigrants will take American jobs, compare the economic situation in South Africa to the one in California and thank your lucky stars that you have a good job to worry about losing. For those who want to brand supporters of Arizona's new immigration law as "racists," go to a mall and see how many Mexicans are being told to "go home" or are having their shops looted. In short, it could be a lot worse for everyone in the States.

What is perhaps most disturbing about the article is the idea that somehow it's OK to attack immigrants and raid their property after the World Cup is over. Like obeying the law only counts when the world is watching. I hope everybody remembers that a major goal of this World Cup was to encourage repeat tourist business. This was supposed to be the platform to convince everyone that South Africa wasn't as dangerous or as dire as was often perceived. Beating up a bunch of immigrants might bring a short term economic benefit in terms of lowering competition, but the reduction in tourism and international business that widespread rioting would bring about would render all the money spent on this World Cup completely pointless.

At any rate, I'm not sad I'm leaving today. I'd rather watch developments from afar, thanks very much.

Sleeper Cars: A Relatively Pleasant Experience

The slogan of the South African long-distance train company Shosholoza-Meyl is "A Pleasant Experience."* As you may have noticed from my previous blog, this was anything but the case en route from Johannesburg to Port Elizabeth. Still, given the high price of flights from Cape Town to Johannesburg following the semi-final, I decided to risk it again. This time, though, I bought two tickets and rented out a sleeper car for myself.

This really was a much more pleasant experience. In general, it was very quiet, except for the occasional Argentinian whooping it up over Spain's victory over Germany. Next door to me was a group of four American chicks. I thought this would be cool, until I overheard them saying something about "Do you want to pray now or later?" and then gave up on attempting to party with them. I had my own heater which kept my compartment toasty. The food in the dining car was decent enough. I managed to get a lot of reading done in my book on the history of modern China. I now know more about Deng Xiaoping than I ever expected. But just remember, if you go carrying pictures of Chairman Mao, you ain't gonna make it with anyone anyhow.

Here's my compartment:



There was one slight problem: a massive delay where we just sat on the tracks doing nothing in the middle of nowhere. Apparently there was a problem with the locomotive. Now, call me crazy, but if you're hosting a World Cup, you'd think that you'd do a little routine maintenance. Those with flights to catch were freaking out, but frankly I had nothing better to do than read about the Cultural Revolution so I wasn't bothered.

If you're ever traveling in South Africa, I have a piece of advice for you: fly. Every time I flew, no matter what bargain basement airline I took, it went off without a hitch. The same can't be said for rail transportation. Though, if you've got the dough to ride the Blue Train, that might be worth a shot.

* This slogan sucks. It's about one step above "Knowledge is Good."

Semi-Finals: Boy Did I Call Those Wrong

So, not only did Spain NOT disappoint, but the Netherlands/Uruguay game was awesome. Oops.

The End Is Nigh

The paradox of a month-long football tournament is that the closer you get to the final, the lower the enthusiasm. While the games are getting more important, they are becoming fewer in number and more spread out. Whereas there used to be games every couple of days in each host city, we're down to four games in four cities over 8 days. It's hard to maintain the early atmosphere.

As I sat in the Johannesburg airport waiting for my flight to Cape Town today, the change from when I first set foot in South Africa was night and day. A month ago, it was packed even at 8AM, with vibrant signs, bustling merchandise shops, and the constant blare of vuvuzelas. Today, it was very subdued, bare, and quiet.

I can't say I miss the noise, but it is a sad reminder that the World Cup is drifting inevitably towards its conclusion . . . and we're getting closer to another four year wait.

Spain vs. Germany: When Stereotypes Collide

Well I'm about to head to Cape Town for the Netherlands vs. Uruguay semi-final. I suppose I should be writing about that game but to be honest it holds little interest for me. Uruguay, lacking the suspended Suarez and injured skipper Lugano, look like sacrificial lambs. The Netherlands have been competent, but never spellbinding. Instead I want to look forward to tomorrow's game: Germany vs. Spain (I'll be traveling and I'm not sure how much time I'll have to write).

What we have here is essentially the collision of two great stereotypes (call them "myths" or "legends" for a more romantic interpretation) in world football: the "Overachieving Germans" and the "Underachieving Spaniards."

Comedian Louis CK once asked why we can't have stereotypes that are ignorant, but pleasant ("Oh those Chinese people . . . they're made of candy!"). In the case of Germany,we have just such a pleasant stereotype. Four Four Two magazine ran a pre-World Cup article with the following headline: "Q: Why will Germany do well at the World Cup finals? A: Because they always do." Indeed, Germany are one of, if not the most consistent teams in the history of the tournament. They (well, technically West Germany) have won it three times and reached the finals an unprecedented seven times. What's astonishing about this is their ability to succeed even when the collection of individuals is nothing to write home about. They reached the finals in 2002 pretty much solely on the brilliance of Oliver Khan. The 2010 edition was called by some the "worst German World Cup team ever" and regarded as far too young to succeed.

Despite this, they have once again lived up to their billing in Germany as a Turniermannschaft, or "tournament team." Shattering all expectations, they have scored four goals on three occasions and so thoroughly outplayed Argentina that Diego Maradona, usually quite active on the touchline, could do nothing but stand like a statue while tears flooded his eyes. German teams are usually regarded as efficient and workmanlike; these guys are playing the best football of the tournament.

In contrast, the Spanish are the team that are constantly lauded as contenders, only to capitulate sooner than expected. Up until two years ago, all they had to show for their troubles was the 1964 European Championship, won on home soil. After that is was a long procession of baffling disappointment. How could a nation which features one of the best leagues in the world, and two of football's biggest powerhouses in Real Madrid and Barcelona, fail over and over again on the biggest stage?

People thought this demon had been exorcised in 2008, when Spain finally lifted more silverware at the European Championships. I'm not so convinced. Yes, they are into the semis, but they have been lackluster all tournament. They started with a loss to Switzerland and have hardly been as impressive as the Germans in their subsequent victories. Fernando Torres has been absolutely useless, and the usually infallible Xavi looks out of sorts by his impossibly high standards. David Villa has been the only thing standing between Spain and elimination.

We tend to think of the word "stereotype" as a dirty word, but the stereotypes we're familiar with are always based on at least a grain of truth. The Spanish team does habitually perform as less than the sum of its parts. The German team does habitually perform as more than the sum of its parts. In the case of this match, I think this will be born out yet again.

Luis Suarez: Hand Of God Revisited

The great professional wrestler Jesse "The Body" Ventura was fond of using the catchphrase "Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat." Perhaps Luis Suarez is an afficianado of the former governor of Minnesota. Yes, the talk of the town is Suarez's heroic/dastardly (you choose) handball which stopped a goal-bound Ghana effort and carried the game into a penalty shoot-out when Asamoah Gyan missed the subsequent spot kick. If you ask Diego Forlan of Uruguay, Suarez is a "hero" who made a "great save." If you ask John Pantsil of Ghana, who apparently is not familiar with the rules of football, a goal should have been awarded.

Here's my question: is it fair to call what Suarez did "cheating?" I mean for me, cheating involves some sort of effort to con the referee or conceal your actions. Steroids? That's cheating. Sergio Busquets' constant diving? That's cheating. Hell, the pushing, grabbing, and shirt pulling that goes on in the penalty box before a corner is a better example of cheating; people who do this are assuming the referee won't see it. Suarez didn't hide what he was doing. He took the red card and walked off the field, no arguments, no whining . . . he did what he could to stop the goal and then he left it up to the fates. As it was, the fates were kind to him, and he now pays for his actions with a suspension for the semi-final against Holland.

Don't think I'm just saying this because I'm an American and we were eliminated by Ghana. When Phil Neville did something similar for Everton in the Merseyside Derby, I defended him, and anyone who has ever talked football with me knows I hate Phil Neville. The truth is, if I was playing in an important game, I can see myself doing the exact same thing. I once reamed a team-mate for intentionally handballing a shot off the line, but it wasn't because it was unsporting; it's because he did it in the first 10 minutes.

The notion that a goal should have been "awarded" is of course absurd. Remember, FIFA doesn't even award goals that actually go over the line, as Frank Lampard will tell you. Nobody was saying that a goal should have been given when Suarez himself was brought down in the box by South African keeper Itumeleng Khune. Nobody needed to say this, as Forlan converted the penalty. Had Gyan done the same, or had Ghana held their nerve in the shootout, the whole thing would have been a footnote.

Maybe it says something about the state of modern football when a player, and indeed his supporters, would rather win by highly dubious means than lose according to the rules. But looking at the picture below, I think it's safe to say that the Uruguayans are unconcerned about the greater implications of this incident.

Independence Day

Fun fact: in the past seven years, I've spent the Fourth of July in five different countries: the USA (duh), Denmark, Scotland, South Korea, and now South Africa. Usually there are some Americans around with whom I can celebrate, but unfortunately it seems I'm on my own this time. Oh well. I think I'll celebrate with a This American Life marathon.

By the way, am I the only one who prefers to say "Independence Day" rather than "Fourth of July?" I mean, every country has a July 4th, but not every country has an independence day. Canada and Australia, I'm looking at you . . .

Who Is Joan Capdevila?

Well, I mean I know who he is. He's a left back for Villareal and Spain. I guess my question is, who is he related to that keeps putting him in the Spanish team despite the fact that he just seems totally average?

I suppose it says something about the dearth of great left backs in the world that a team like Spain - who can afford to keep Cesc Fabregas on the bench - have no better option than a 32-year-old who wouldn't look out of place at Bolton.

Brazil + Holland = Great Atmosphere

Phew, it's a rest period. Nobody likes these intolerable two-day delays but it does give me a chance to catch up on the events of the World Cup.

Few fans in football create a better atmosphere than the Dutch and the Brazilians. Put the two together and you have the recipe for an outrageous match. The stadium wasn't packed, which perhaps isn't surprising; at this point even the cheap seats were USD 150. It was, however, very colorful and very vibrant. So much so that, for the first time I've seen, the chants and the singing were actually able to rival the vuvuzelas. Despite the passion of both sets of fans, the whole thing was very good natured. Brazilians and Dutchmen joked with each other and exchanged shirts and scarves.

Another plus was that I was sitting next to a bloke named Lars who, like me, had purchased the Denmark Team Series Ticket only to see them eliminated in the group stage. Despite our collective disappointment, I was at least able to practice my Danish a bit more.

Brazil, as ever, started well. They had a goal disallowed for offside before Felipe Melo played in a brilliant pass for Robinho. Melo quickly became the cause of Brazil's demise though, blocking his keeper and causing an own goal. Wesley Sneijder gave the Netherlands the lead with a rare header . . . he patted his head afterwards as if I say, yes I actually did head that in. The Netherlands didn't respond well to taking the lead, flopping around like crazy. Perhaps this frustration led to Melo to stamp on Robben and get sent off.

The Dutch fans were going insane, while the Brazilian fans were in the depths of despair. Much like Argentina against Germany, I think the Brazilians simply weren't used to going behind, especially not with 10 men. I really didn't stick around for the party. I absolutely ran out of the stadium, trying to get to a taxi ASAP so I wouldn't get caught in traffic before my flight. As it turned out, I got to the airport in plenty of time, but better safe than sorry!

Africa Magic: Best Channel Ever

When the TV isn't showing football at my guest house, it's likely to be set to the "Africa Magic" channel. I guess the staff likes it. This channel rules. I think it's dedicated to showing TV shows and movies produced in Africa. The acting is always appalling. Right now, I'm watching two enormous African tribal women, dressed in black and wearing skull facepaint, dancing confusingly around what is meant to be an infant but is clearly a dummy. I've just been informed that they were "bewtiching" the child. His/her mother has just come out of the hut weeping and wailing over her missing child, despite that these "bewitching" rituals took place just around the corner from her hut. Now, one of the witches is having her head shaved.

The other type of movie they show is violent action films with sub-Dolemite production values and several inexplicable shootings per minute.

The Mathematics Of Flight

So as I mentioned, I booked with British Airways to get home tonight. The problem is that I could only book first class. Thus my flight was about 2,500 rand. Perhaps a bit pricey, but I thought of it this way. A regular flight is about 800 rand. A hotel is also about 800 rand. So as long as I drank 900 rand worth of gin in the Elite Lounge and on the airplane, it all balanced out.

I don't think I made it, but it was close!

All Aboard! The Night Train!

Guess I lied about the hiatus.

To get to Port Elizabeth, I decided to take the train. Flights to and from Port Elizabeth seemed limited in number and high in price. It was a long journey by rail - leave at 1PM, arrive at 9AM the next morning - but I figured it would be a good experience and a good way to see the country. Not so much.

Train culture here appears to be different from other parts of the world. For example, a guy I met from Newcastle, England, said that on trains in the UK you need to whisper to your friends when talking. Here, loud, drunken shouting seems to be acceptable.

Another example: I've traveled on trains down the West Coast, from Scotland to England, across Denmark, and all over Korea. In all these journeys, the total number of people I saw being arrested was zero. In this one trip from Jo'Burg to PE, the total was three. It could have been more; it was a big train.

At one point in the dining car, I was attempting to read and munch on a snack while a ridiculously inebriated gentleman screamed to his friends at the top of his lungs and fell all over the car. As this did not permit me to devote the necessary attention to Salman Rushdie's Midnight's Children, I abruptly left and returned to my seat. Later the waitress came by my seat and thoroughly pissed me off by suggesting that I had left the dining car because I was afraid of black people. I replied that no, rather, I don't much care for loud people. Regardless of the reason, it didn't seem like a wise question to ask your customer.

Sleeping was nigh-on impossible, due to the freezing temperature of the cars and the continued loud talking. Earplugs to the rescue once more. Rest assured, if I attempt the train again it will be via sleeper car. As for the return trip, I've just booked a flight with good old British Airways.

Temporary Hiatus

I'm rolling to Port Elizabeth for the Holland vs. Brazil game. Due to the fact that I MAY be homeless for this trip, I won't be bringing the laptop. You'll just have to wait!