The Story Of Beer

Well we're into the quarter finals of the World Cup, which means higher stakes, but fewer games. Indeed we're in the midst of a two day "rest period" before the next round kicks off. What is a boy to do? Well, one suggestion would be to visit the spot that was voted the number one tourist attraction in South Africa in 2009. A safari? No. The home of Nelson Mandela? No. That would be the South African Brewer's World of Beer.

Brewery tours are always a safe bet when you are traveling. You're bound to get a couple of free beers at the end of the tour. Essentially these are the legal equivalent to a crack dealer giving you the first hit for free. It doesn't seem to make economic sense, but if they get you hooked on their brew, then they will profit for years to come. Take, for example, the Carlsberg Brewery tour in Copenhagen. The delicious free glass of Tuborg Classic I drank ensured I'd be drinking Tuburg Classic for the remainder of my stay.

The World of Beer was bizarre from the beginning. As we stepped in we were greeted with a bombastic voice recording that equated the story of life to the Story of Beer. We also watched a hilariously overacted 3D Indiana Jones rip-off that told us about the making of beer in ancient Egypt. Next, we watched a video about traditional African beer and the guide passed around a jug of this concoction. I was a bit worried about catching a cold but I reasoned it was no different from drinking the wine at church.

Following some more bizarre videos we moved to an olde-tyme bar where they served us a small glass of beer. We were supposed to keep the glass, but I really didn't need an easily-breakable souvenir. We got to the section that described the making of beer in the most absurdly over-the-top terms. There's really no point in trying to use words to describe how ridiculous this section was; you need to hear it yourself.

After this, it was time for the coup de grace: the pub. As usual, we had received tickets for two free beers at the end of the tour. Also as usual, there were people who didn't drink their allotment and passed it off to us. Four beers later (each), we headed home happy. It was funny, but obviously some people put a lot of work into this so I would recommend it. I mean, 30 rand for 5 beers? You can't beat that!