As I mentioned before, African teams, as a whole, were totally underwhelming in this World Cup. Only Ghana escaped from the group stage. This led the people of South Africa to rally behind their fellow Africans. While the USA supposedly brought more fans than any other nation except maybe England, the stadium at the USA vs. Ghana game was solidly pro-Ghana. The South Africans I talked to seemed disappointed when they were eliminated at the hand (literally) of Luis Suarez.
Then I saw this article:
South Africa Braces for New Attacks on Immigrants
"For months, threats have coursed through virtually every township and squatter camp, with warnings that once the final whistle blows, the tourists leave and the world looks away, vuvuzelas and banners will be replaced by torches and panga knives as attacks begin against Zimbabweans, Mozambicans and others."
Yikes. This actually meshes somewhat with my experiences here. Taxi drivers would point to an area and say "That's where Nigerians sell drugs" or "This is where all the Somalians hang out." As we were taking a taxi to the bus depot, we saw police with assault rifles drawn pull over a car and haul the passengers out, all the while shouting "WHERE ARE YOU FROM?!" Today while I was having lunch at the nearby shopping center, two men were angrily yelling and cursing at each other; one was saying "Get out of my country!"
I was in a taxi when I heard a curious program on the radio. Callers were basically confessing bad behavior to friends or family on the air. One man admitted to his sister that he didn't like her Mozambican husband, and in fact broke into her house in an effort to frame him. My driver said that he had married a Zimbabwean woman, and his sister did not approve of this.
This really isn't surprising. I mean the United States is, relatively, ridiculously affluent and we still have tensions over immigration. In a country where roughly one third of the people are unemployed and living conditions have in many cases barely improved since apartheid, the tensions are going to be infinitely higher. There's a paradox here I think, since the South Africans fought for decades to overthrow a system that treated some people as second-class citizens; to now treat foreigners as second-class citizens seems hypocritical in the extreme. Still, as I discussed before, Mandela's dedication to making a "Rainbow Nation" is the major reason that South Africa is more prosperous than its neighbors. It's not fair to say South Africans should suffer from economic competition because Mugabe's Zimbabwe followed a different policy that subsequently led to economic disaster and a mass exodus.
There are perhaps lessons in perspective here for people on both sides of the immigration debate in the United States. For people who think that immigrants will take American jobs, compare the economic situation in South Africa to the one in California and thank your lucky stars that you have a good job to worry about losing. For those who want to brand supporters of Arizona's new immigration law as "racists," go to a mall and see how many Mexicans are being told to "go home" or are having their shops looted. In short, it could be a lot worse for everyone in the States.
What is perhaps most disturbing about the article is the idea that somehow it's OK to attack immigrants and raid their property after the World Cup is over. Like obeying the law only counts when the world is watching. I hope everybody remembers that a major goal of this World Cup was to encourage repeat tourist business. This was supposed to be the platform to convince everyone that South Africa wasn't as dangerous or as dire as was often perceived. Beating up a bunch of immigrants might bring a short term economic benefit in terms of lowering competition, but the reduction in tourism and international business that widespread rioting would bring about would render all the money spent on this World Cup completely pointless.
At any rate, I'm not sad I'm leaving today. I'd rather watch developments from afar, thanks very much.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Friday, July 9, 2010
Sleeper Cars: A Relatively Pleasant Experience
The slogan of the South African long-distance train company Shosholoza-Meyl is "A Pleasant Experience."* As you may have noticed from my previous blog, this was anything but the case en route from Johannesburg to Port Elizabeth. Still, given the high price of flights from Cape Town to Johannesburg following the semi-final, I decided to risk it again. This time, though, I bought two tickets and rented out a sleeper car for myself.
This really was a much more pleasant experience. In general, it was very quiet, except for the occasional Argentinian whooping it up over Spain's victory over Germany. Next door to me was a group of four American chicks. I thought this would be cool, until I overheard them saying something about "Do you want to pray now or later?" and then gave up on attempting to party with them. I had my own heater which kept my compartment toasty. The food in the dining car was decent enough. I managed to get a lot of reading done in my book on the history of modern China. I now know more about Deng Xiaoping than I ever expected. But just remember, if you go carrying pictures of Chairman Mao, you ain't gonna make it with anyone anyhow.
Here's my compartment:
There was one slight problem: a massive delay where we just sat on the tracks doing nothing in the middle of nowhere. Apparently there was a problem with the locomotive. Now, call me crazy, but if you're hosting a World Cup, you'd think that you'd do a little routine maintenance. Those with flights to catch were freaking out, but frankly I had nothing better to do than read about the Cultural Revolution so I wasn't bothered.
If you're ever traveling in South Africa, I have a piece of advice for you: fly. Every time I flew, no matter what bargain basement airline I took, it went off without a hitch. The same can't be said for rail transportation. Though, if you've got the dough to ride the Blue Train, that might be worth a shot.
* This slogan sucks. It's about one step above "Knowledge is Good."
This really was a much more pleasant experience. In general, it was very quiet, except for the occasional Argentinian whooping it up over Spain's victory over Germany. Next door to me was a group of four American chicks. I thought this would be cool, until I overheard them saying something about "Do you want to pray now or later?" and then gave up on attempting to party with them. I had my own heater which kept my compartment toasty. The food in the dining car was decent enough. I managed to get a lot of reading done in my book on the history of modern China. I now know more about Deng Xiaoping than I ever expected. But just remember, if you go carrying pictures of Chairman Mao, you ain't gonna make it with anyone anyhow.
Here's my compartment:
There was one slight problem: a massive delay where we just sat on the tracks doing nothing in the middle of nowhere. Apparently there was a problem with the locomotive. Now, call me crazy, but if you're hosting a World Cup, you'd think that you'd do a little routine maintenance. Those with flights to catch were freaking out, but frankly I had nothing better to do than read about the Cultural Revolution so I wasn't bothered.
If you're ever traveling in South Africa, I have a piece of advice for you: fly. Every time I flew, no matter what bargain basement airline I took, it went off without a hitch. The same can't be said for rail transportation. Though, if you've got the dough to ride the Blue Train, that might be worth a shot.
* This slogan sucks. It's about one step above "Knowledge is Good."
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Semi-Finals: Boy Did I Call Those Wrong
So, not only did Spain NOT disappoint, but the Netherlands/Uruguay game was awesome. Oops.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
The End Is Nigh
The paradox of a month-long football tournament is that the closer you get to the final, the lower the enthusiasm. While the games are getting more important, they are becoming fewer in number and more spread out. Whereas there used to be games every couple of days in each host city, we're down to four games in four cities over 8 days. It's hard to maintain the early atmosphere.
As I sat in the Johannesburg airport waiting for my flight to Cape Town today, the change from when I first set foot in South Africa was night and day. A month ago, it was packed even at 8AM, with vibrant signs, bustling merchandise shops, and the constant blare of vuvuzelas. Today, it was very subdued, bare, and quiet.
I can't say I miss the noise, but it is a sad reminder that the World Cup is drifting inevitably towards its conclusion . . . and we're getting closer to another four year wait.
As I sat in the Johannesburg airport waiting for my flight to Cape Town today, the change from when I first set foot in South Africa was night and day. A month ago, it was packed even at 8AM, with vibrant signs, bustling merchandise shops, and the constant blare of vuvuzelas. Today, it was very subdued, bare, and quiet.
I can't say I miss the noise, but it is a sad reminder that the World Cup is drifting inevitably towards its conclusion . . . and we're getting closer to another four year wait.
Monday, July 5, 2010
Spain vs. Germany: When Stereotypes Collide
Well I'm about to head to Cape Town for the Netherlands vs. Uruguay semi-final. I suppose I should be writing about that game but to be honest it holds little interest for me. Uruguay, lacking the suspended Suarez and injured skipper Lugano, look like sacrificial lambs. The Netherlands have been competent, but never spellbinding. Instead I want to look forward to tomorrow's game: Germany vs. Spain (I'll be traveling and I'm not sure how much time I'll have to write).
What we have here is essentially the collision of two great stereotypes (call them "myths" or "legends" for a more romantic interpretation) in world football: the "Overachieving Germans" and the "Underachieving Spaniards."
Comedian Louis CK once asked why we can't have stereotypes that are ignorant, but pleasant ("Oh those Chinese people . . . they're made of candy!"). In the case of Germany,we have just such a pleasant stereotype. Four Four Two magazine ran a pre-World Cup article with the following headline: "Q: Why will Germany do well at the World Cup finals? A: Because they always do." Indeed, Germany are one of, if not the most consistent teams in the history of the tournament. They (well, technically West Germany) have won it three times and reached the finals an unprecedented seven times. What's astonishing about this is their ability to succeed even when the collection of individuals is nothing to write home about. They reached the finals in 2002 pretty much solely on the brilliance of Oliver Khan. The 2010 edition was called by some the "worst German World Cup team ever" and regarded as far too young to succeed.
Despite this, they have once again lived up to their billing in Germany as a Turniermannschaft, or "tournament team." Shattering all expectations, they have scored four goals on three occasions and so thoroughly outplayed Argentina that Diego Maradona, usually quite active on the touchline, could do nothing but stand like a statue while tears flooded his eyes. German teams are usually regarded as efficient and workmanlike; these guys are playing the best football of the tournament.
In contrast, the Spanish are the team that are constantly lauded as contenders, only to capitulate sooner than expected. Up until two years ago, all they had to show for their troubles was the 1964 European Championship, won on home soil. After that is was a long procession of baffling disappointment. How could a nation which features one of the best leagues in the world, and two of football's biggest powerhouses in Real Madrid and Barcelona, fail over and over again on the biggest stage?
People thought this demon had been exorcised in 2008, when Spain finally lifted more silverware at the European Championships. I'm not so convinced. Yes, they are into the semis, but they have been lackluster all tournament. They started with a loss to Switzerland and have hardly been as impressive as the Germans in their subsequent victories. Fernando Torres has been absolutely useless, and the usually infallible Xavi looks out of sorts by his impossibly high standards. David Villa has been the only thing standing between Spain and elimination.
We tend to think of the word "stereotype" as a dirty word, but the stereotypes we're familiar with are always based on at least a grain of truth. The Spanish team does habitually perform as less than the sum of its parts. The German team does habitually perform as more than the sum of its parts. In the case of this match, I think this will be born out yet again.
What we have here is essentially the collision of two great stereotypes (call them "myths" or "legends" for a more romantic interpretation) in world football: the "Overachieving Germans" and the "Underachieving Spaniards."
Comedian Louis CK once asked why we can't have stereotypes that are ignorant, but pleasant ("Oh those Chinese people . . . they're made of candy!"). In the case of Germany,we have just such a pleasant stereotype. Four Four Two magazine ran a pre-World Cup article with the following headline: "Q: Why will Germany do well at the World Cup finals? A: Because they always do." Indeed, Germany are one of, if not the most consistent teams in the history of the tournament. They (well, technically West Germany) have won it three times and reached the finals an unprecedented seven times. What's astonishing about this is their ability to succeed even when the collection of individuals is nothing to write home about. They reached the finals in 2002 pretty much solely on the brilliance of Oliver Khan. The 2010 edition was called by some the "worst German World Cup team ever" and regarded as far too young to succeed.
Despite this, they have once again lived up to their billing in Germany as a Turniermannschaft, or "tournament team." Shattering all expectations, they have scored four goals on three occasions and so thoroughly outplayed Argentina that Diego Maradona, usually quite active on the touchline, could do nothing but stand like a statue while tears flooded his eyes. German teams are usually regarded as efficient and workmanlike; these guys are playing the best football of the tournament.
In contrast, the Spanish are the team that are constantly lauded as contenders, only to capitulate sooner than expected. Up until two years ago, all they had to show for their troubles was the 1964 European Championship, won on home soil. After that is was a long procession of baffling disappointment. How could a nation which features one of the best leagues in the world, and two of football's biggest powerhouses in Real Madrid and Barcelona, fail over and over again on the biggest stage?
People thought this demon had been exorcised in 2008, when Spain finally lifted more silverware at the European Championships. I'm not so convinced. Yes, they are into the semis, but they have been lackluster all tournament. They started with a loss to Switzerland and have hardly been as impressive as the Germans in their subsequent victories. Fernando Torres has been absolutely useless, and the usually infallible Xavi looks out of sorts by his impossibly high standards. David Villa has been the only thing standing between Spain and elimination.
We tend to think of the word "stereotype" as a dirty word, but the stereotypes we're familiar with are always based on at least a grain of truth. The Spanish team does habitually perform as less than the sum of its parts. The German team does habitually perform as more than the sum of its parts. In the case of this match, I think this will be born out yet again.
Luis Suarez: Hand Of God Revisited
The great professional wrestler Jesse "The Body" Ventura was fond of using the catchphrase "Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat." Perhaps Luis Suarez is an afficianado of the former governor of Minnesota. Yes, the talk of the town is Suarez's heroic/dastardly (you choose) handball which stopped a goal-bound Ghana effort and carried the game into a penalty shoot-out when Asamoah Gyan missed the subsequent spot kick. If you ask Diego Forlan of Uruguay, Suarez is a "hero" who made a "great save." If you ask John Pantsil of Ghana, who apparently is not familiar with the rules of football, a goal should have been awarded.
Here's my question: is it fair to call what Suarez did "cheating?" I mean for me, cheating involves some sort of effort to con the referee or conceal your actions. Steroids? That's cheating. Sergio Busquets' constant diving? That's cheating. Hell, the pushing, grabbing, and shirt pulling that goes on in the penalty box before a corner is a better example of cheating; people who do this are assuming the referee won't see it. Suarez didn't hide what he was doing. He took the red card and walked off the field, no arguments, no whining . . . he did what he could to stop the goal and then he left it up to the fates. As it was, the fates were kind to him, and he now pays for his actions with a suspension for the semi-final against Holland.
Don't think I'm just saying this because I'm an American and we were eliminated by Ghana. When Phil Neville did something similar for Everton in the Merseyside Derby, I defended him, and anyone who has ever talked football with me knows I hate Phil Neville. The truth is, if I was playing in an important game, I can see myself doing the exact same thing. I once reamed a team-mate for intentionally handballing a shot off the line, but it wasn't because it was unsporting; it's because he did it in the first 10 minutes.
The notion that a goal should have been "awarded" is of course absurd. Remember, FIFA doesn't even award goals that actually go over the line, as Frank Lampard will tell you. Nobody was saying that a goal should have been given when Suarez himself was brought down in the box by South African keeper Itumeleng Khune. Nobody needed to say this, as Forlan converted the penalty. Had Gyan done the same, or had Ghana held their nerve in the shootout, the whole thing would have been a footnote.
Maybe it says something about the state of modern football when a player, and indeed his supporters, would rather win by highly dubious means than lose according to the rules. But looking at the picture below, I think it's safe to say that the Uruguayans are unconcerned about the greater implications of this incident.
Here's my question: is it fair to call what Suarez did "cheating?" I mean for me, cheating involves some sort of effort to con the referee or conceal your actions. Steroids? That's cheating. Sergio Busquets' constant diving? That's cheating. Hell, the pushing, grabbing, and shirt pulling that goes on in the penalty box before a corner is a better example of cheating; people who do this are assuming the referee won't see it. Suarez didn't hide what he was doing. He took the red card and walked off the field, no arguments, no whining . . . he did what he could to stop the goal and then he left it up to the fates. As it was, the fates were kind to him, and he now pays for his actions with a suspension for the semi-final against Holland.
Don't think I'm just saying this because I'm an American and we were eliminated by Ghana. When Phil Neville did something similar for Everton in the Merseyside Derby, I defended him, and anyone who has ever talked football with me knows I hate Phil Neville. The truth is, if I was playing in an important game, I can see myself doing the exact same thing. I once reamed a team-mate for intentionally handballing a shot off the line, but it wasn't because it was unsporting; it's because he did it in the first 10 minutes.
The notion that a goal should have been "awarded" is of course absurd. Remember, FIFA doesn't even award goals that actually go over the line, as Frank Lampard will tell you. Nobody was saying that a goal should have been given when Suarez himself was brought down in the box by South African keeper Itumeleng Khune. Nobody needed to say this, as Forlan converted the penalty. Had Gyan done the same, or had Ghana held their nerve in the shootout, the whole thing would have been a footnote.
Maybe it says something about the state of modern football when a player, and indeed his supporters, would rather win by highly dubious means than lose according to the rules. But looking at the picture below, I think it's safe to say that the Uruguayans are unconcerned about the greater implications of this incident.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Independence Day
Fun fact: in the past seven years, I've spent the Fourth of July in five different countries: the USA (duh), Denmark, Scotland, South Korea, and now South Africa. Usually there are some Americans around with whom I can celebrate, but unfortunately it seems I'm on my own this time. Oh well. I think I'll celebrate with a This American Life marathon.
By the way, am I the only one who prefers to say "Independence Day" rather than "Fourth of July?" I mean, every country has a July 4th, but not every country has an independence day. Canada and Australia, I'm looking at you . . .
By the way, am I the only one who prefers to say "Independence Day" rather than "Fourth of July?" I mean, every country has a July 4th, but not every country has an independence day. Canada and Australia, I'm looking at you . . .
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Who Is Joan Capdevila?
Well, I mean I know who he is. He's a left back for Villareal and Spain. I guess my question is, who is he related to that keeps putting him in the Spanish team despite the fact that he just seems totally average?
I suppose it says something about the dearth of great left backs in the world that a team like Spain - who can afford to keep Cesc Fabregas on the bench - have no better option than a 32-year-old who wouldn't look out of place at Bolton.
I suppose it says something about the dearth of great left backs in the world that a team like Spain - who can afford to keep Cesc Fabregas on the bench - have no better option than a 32-year-old who wouldn't look out of place at Bolton.
Brazil + Holland = Great Atmosphere
Phew, it's a rest period. Nobody likes these intolerable two-day delays but it does give me a chance to catch up on the events of the World Cup.
Few fans in football create a better atmosphere than the Dutch and the Brazilians. Put the two together and you have the recipe for an outrageous match. The stadium wasn't packed, which perhaps isn't surprising; at this point even the cheap seats were USD 150. It was, however, very colorful and very vibrant. So much so that, for the first time I've seen, the chants and the singing were actually able to rival the vuvuzelas. Despite the passion of both sets of fans, the whole thing was very good natured. Brazilians and Dutchmen joked with each other and exchanged shirts and scarves.
Another plus was that I was sitting next to a bloke named Lars who, like me, had purchased the Denmark Team Series Ticket only to see them eliminated in the group stage. Despite our collective disappointment, I was at least able to practice my Danish a bit more.
Brazil, as ever, started well. They had a goal disallowed for offside before Felipe Melo played in a brilliant pass for Robinho. Melo quickly became the cause of Brazil's demise though, blocking his keeper and causing an own goal. Wesley Sneijder gave the Netherlands the lead with a rare header . . . he patted his head afterwards as if I say, yes I actually did head that in. The Netherlands didn't respond well to taking the lead, flopping around like crazy. Perhaps this frustration led to Melo to stamp on Robben and get sent off.
The Dutch fans were going insane, while the Brazilian fans were in the depths of despair. Much like Argentina against Germany, I think the Brazilians simply weren't used to going behind, especially not with 10 men. I really didn't stick around for the party. I absolutely ran out of the stadium, trying to get to a taxi ASAP so I wouldn't get caught in traffic before my flight. As it turned out, I got to the airport in plenty of time, but better safe than sorry!
Few fans in football create a better atmosphere than the Dutch and the Brazilians. Put the two together and you have the recipe for an outrageous match. The stadium wasn't packed, which perhaps isn't surprising; at this point even the cheap seats were USD 150. It was, however, very colorful and very vibrant. So much so that, for the first time I've seen, the chants and the singing were actually able to rival the vuvuzelas. Despite the passion of both sets of fans, the whole thing was very good natured. Brazilians and Dutchmen joked with each other and exchanged shirts and scarves.
Another plus was that I was sitting next to a bloke named Lars who, like me, had purchased the Denmark Team Series Ticket only to see them eliminated in the group stage. Despite our collective disappointment, I was at least able to practice my Danish a bit more.
Brazil, as ever, started well. They had a goal disallowed for offside before Felipe Melo played in a brilliant pass for Robinho. Melo quickly became the cause of Brazil's demise though, blocking his keeper and causing an own goal. Wesley Sneijder gave the Netherlands the lead with a rare header . . . he patted his head afterwards as if I say, yes I actually did head that in. The Netherlands didn't respond well to taking the lead, flopping around like crazy. Perhaps this frustration led to Melo to stamp on Robben and get sent off.
The Dutch fans were going insane, while the Brazilian fans were in the depths of despair. Much like Argentina against Germany, I think the Brazilians simply weren't used to going behind, especially not with 10 men. I really didn't stick around for the party. I absolutely ran out of the stadium, trying to get to a taxi ASAP so I wouldn't get caught in traffic before my flight. As it turned out, I got to the airport in plenty of time, but better safe than sorry!
Africa Magic: Best Channel Ever
When the TV isn't showing football at my guest house, it's likely to be set to the "Africa Magic" channel. I guess the staff likes it. This channel rules. I think it's dedicated to showing TV shows and movies produced in Africa. The acting is always appalling. Right now, I'm watching two enormous African tribal women, dressed in black and wearing skull facepaint, dancing confusingly around what is meant to be an infant but is clearly a dummy. I've just been informed that they were "bewtiching" the child. His/her mother has just come out of the hut weeping and wailing over her missing child, despite that these "bewitching" rituals took place just around the corner from her hut. Now, one of the witches is having her head shaved.
The other type of movie they show is violent action films with sub-Dolemite production values and several inexplicable shootings per minute.
The other type of movie they show is violent action films with sub-Dolemite production values and several inexplicable shootings per minute.
Friday, July 2, 2010
The Mathematics Of Flight
So as I mentioned, I booked with British Airways to get home tonight. The problem is that I could only book first class. Thus my flight was about 2,500 rand. Perhaps a bit pricey, but I thought of it this way. A regular flight is about 800 rand. A hotel is also about 800 rand. So as long as I drank 900 rand worth of gin in the Elite Lounge and on the airplane, it all balanced out.
I don't think I made it, but it was close!
I don't think I made it, but it was close!
All Aboard! The Night Train!
Guess I lied about the hiatus.
To get to Port Elizabeth, I decided to take the train. Flights to and from Port Elizabeth seemed limited in number and high in price. It was a long journey by rail - leave at 1PM, arrive at 9AM the next morning - but I figured it would be a good experience and a good way to see the country. Not so much.
Train culture here appears to be different from other parts of the world. For example, a guy I met from Newcastle, England, said that on trains in the UK you need to whisper to your friends when talking. Here, loud, drunken shouting seems to be acceptable.
Another example: I've traveled on trains down the West Coast, from Scotland to England, across Denmark, and all over Korea. In all these journeys, the total number of people I saw being arrested was zero. In this one trip from Jo'Burg to PE, the total was three. It could have been more; it was a big train.
At one point in the dining car, I was attempting to read and munch on a snack while a ridiculously inebriated gentleman screamed to his friends at the top of his lungs and fell all over the car. As this did not permit me to devote the necessary attention to Salman Rushdie's Midnight's Children, I abruptly left and returned to my seat. Later the waitress came by my seat and thoroughly pissed me off by suggesting that I had left the dining car because I was afraid of black people. I replied that no, rather, I don't much care for loud people. Regardless of the reason, it didn't seem like a wise question to ask your customer.
Sleeping was nigh-on impossible, due to the freezing temperature of the cars and the continued loud talking. Earplugs to the rescue once more. Rest assured, if I attempt the train again it will be via sleeper car. As for the return trip, I've just booked a flight with good old British Airways.
To get to Port Elizabeth, I decided to take the train. Flights to and from Port Elizabeth seemed limited in number and high in price. It was a long journey by rail - leave at 1PM, arrive at 9AM the next morning - but I figured it would be a good experience and a good way to see the country. Not so much.
Train culture here appears to be different from other parts of the world. For example, a guy I met from Newcastle, England, said that on trains in the UK you need to whisper to your friends when talking. Here, loud, drunken shouting seems to be acceptable.
Another example: I've traveled on trains down the West Coast, from Scotland to England, across Denmark, and all over Korea. In all these journeys, the total number of people I saw being arrested was zero. In this one trip from Jo'Burg to PE, the total was three. It could have been more; it was a big train.
At one point in the dining car, I was attempting to read and munch on a snack while a ridiculously inebriated gentleman screamed to his friends at the top of his lungs and fell all over the car. As this did not permit me to devote the necessary attention to Salman Rushdie's Midnight's Children, I abruptly left and returned to my seat. Later the waitress came by my seat and thoroughly pissed me off by suggesting that I had left the dining car because I was afraid of black people. I replied that no, rather, I don't much care for loud people. Regardless of the reason, it didn't seem like a wise question to ask your customer.
Sleeping was nigh-on impossible, due to the freezing temperature of the cars and the continued loud talking. Earplugs to the rescue once more. Rest assured, if I attempt the train again it will be via sleeper car. As for the return trip, I've just booked a flight with good old British Airways.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Temporary Hiatus
I'm rolling to Port Elizabeth for the Holland vs. Brazil game. Due to the fact that I MAY be homeless for this trip, I won't be bringing the laptop. You'll just have to wait!
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
The Story Of Beer
Well we're into the quarter finals of the World Cup, which means higher stakes, but fewer games. Indeed we're in the midst of a two day "rest period" before the next round kicks off. What is a boy to do? Well, one suggestion would be to visit the spot that was voted the number one tourist attraction in South Africa in 2009. A safari? No. The home of Nelson Mandela? No. That would be the South African Brewer's World of Beer.
Brewery tours are always a safe bet when you are traveling. You're bound to get a couple of free beers at the end of the tour. Essentially these are the legal equivalent to a crack dealer giving you the first hit for free. It doesn't seem to make economic sense, but if they get you hooked on their brew, then they will profit for years to come. Take, for example, the Carlsberg Brewery tour in Copenhagen. The delicious free glass of Tuborg Classic I drank ensured I'd be drinking Tuburg Classic for the remainder of my stay.
The World of Beer was bizarre from the beginning. As we stepped in we were greeted with a bombastic voice recording that equated the story of life to the Story of Beer. We also watched a hilariously overacted 3D Indiana Jones rip-off that told us about the making of beer in ancient Egypt. Next, we watched a video about traditional African beer and the guide passed around a jug of this concoction. I was a bit worried about catching a cold but I reasoned it was no different from drinking the wine at church.
Following some more bizarre videos we moved to an olde-tyme bar where they served us a small glass of beer. We were supposed to keep the glass, but I really didn't need an easily-breakable souvenir. We got to the section that described the making of beer in the most absurdly over-the-top terms. There's really no point in trying to use words to describe how ridiculous this section was; you need to hear it yourself.
After this, it was time for the coup de grace: the pub. As usual, we had received tickets for two free beers at the end of the tour. Also as usual, there were people who didn't drink their allotment and passed it off to us. Four beers later (each), we headed home happy. It was funny, but obviously some people put a lot of work into this so I would recommend it. I mean, 30 rand for 5 beers? You can't beat that!
Brewery tours are always a safe bet when you are traveling. You're bound to get a couple of free beers at the end of the tour. Essentially these are the legal equivalent to a crack dealer giving you the first hit for free. It doesn't seem to make economic sense, but if they get you hooked on their brew, then they will profit for years to come. Take, for example, the Carlsberg Brewery tour in Copenhagen. The delicious free glass of Tuborg Classic I drank ensured I'd be drinking Tuburg Classic for the remainder of my stay.
The World of Beer was bizarre from the beginning. As we stepped in we were greeted with a bombastic voice recording that equated the story of life to the Story of Beer. We also watched a hilariously overacted 3D Indiana Jones rip-off that told us about the making of beer in ancient Egypt. Next, we watched a video about traditional African beer and the guide passed around a jug of this concoction. I was a bit worried about catching a cold but I reasoned it was no different from drinking the wine at church.
Following some more bizarre videos we moved to an olde-tyme bar where they served us a small glass of beer. We were supposed to keep the glass, but I really didn't need an easily-breakable souvenir. We got to the section that described the making of beer in the most absurdly over-the-top terms. There's really no point in trying to use words to describe how ridiculous this section was; you need to hear it yourself.
After this, it was time for the coup de grace: the pub. As usual, we had received tickets for two free beers at the end of the tour. Also as usual, there were people who didn't drink their allotment and passed it off to us. Four beers later (each), we headed home happy. It was funny, but obviously some people put a lot of work into this so I would recommend it. I mean, 30 rand for 5 beers? You can't beat that!
The Streets of Johannesburg
My guest house is in the suburbs of Jo'burg. Walking home from the fan park at dusk a few weeks ago was an eerie experience. I've lived in the urban jungle of Daejeon for so long that seeing houses, trees, and grass felt like being home again. There was a moment where, for all I could tell, I could have been walking in Johannesburg or in Ravenna.
During the day, it's like walking through a very peaceful war zone. The light reveals that every house in the area has a wall or steel fence around it. Guard dogs are common and have a habit of scaring the crap out of you as you walk by - note to self, bring chocolate on next walk. Signs advertising "armed response" dot the landscape. Fences around schools are topped by barbed wire or its more ferocious cousin, razor wire. Some houses, including the one I'm staying at, even feature electric fences on top of the walls. I can occasionally hear the clicking sound that indicates these are functioning, though I'd be lying if I said I never considered chucking a ball of aluminum foil at them to test their efficacy.
These measures are costly, so they wouldn't be there if they weren't needed. It's a bit depressing though. It encourages a very paranoid and isolated state of mind. I walk quickly with my head down. I don't say hello to people; if they say something to me I smile quickly and carry on. But when you're surrounded by electric fences, you don't feel like being very friendly.
During the day, it's like walking through a very peaceful war zone. The light reveals that every house in the area has a wall or steel fence around it. Guard dogs are common and have a habit of scaring the crap out of you as you walk by - note to self, bring chocolate on next walk. Signs advertising "armed response" dot the landscape. Fences around schools are topped by barbed wire or its more ferocious cousin, razor wire. Some houses, including the one I'm staying at, even feature electric fences on top of the walls. I can occasionally hear the clicking sound that indicates these are functioning, though I'd be lying if I said I never considered chucking a ball of aluminum foil at them to test their efficacy.
These measures are costly, so they wouldn't be there if they weren't needed. It's a bit depressing though. It encourages a very paranoid and isolated state of mind. I walk quickly with my head down. I don't say hello to people; if they say something to me I smile quickly and carry on. But when you're surrounded by electric fences, you don't feel like being very friendly.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Have You Seen This Man?
MISSING
Presumed Sulking
Cristiano Ronaldo
Missing since June 29, 2010
Reward: £80 million
If you have seen him, please call 1-800-MTROSXL
Look, I'll freely admit to having mocked Ronaldo's tears at EURO 2004, but at least that showed he cared about Portugal. Today, against Spain, he looked like he was being forced into playing for a Gulag XI. It started ominously when he was the one Portuguese player who wasn't singing the national anthem. He then proceeded to produce 90 minutes of utter anonymity. At one point he pulled rank on Simao in order to take a hopeless 40 yard free kick. And indeed, the only thing he did all game was to take Quixotic long range shots against his Real Madrid teammate Iker Casillas, arguably the best keeper in the world. Well that's not all he did, in fairness. He also looked disapprovingly at his teammates when they dared to be out of range of his poor crosses. I guess he also dove a few times too, though the referee was having none of it from either side; it's about time a referee figured out how these teams play.
It seems like a long time ago that people actually used to debate whether or not Messi or Ronaldo was the better player. On that performance, Ronaldo shouldn't even be mentioned in the same sentence as Messi. Perhaps Sir Alex has once again sold a player to Madrid at the exact right time. Ronaldo only contributed against North Korea, and you hardly have to be a world beater to do that.
In contrast, I thought the Portugal keeper Eduardo was absolutely outstanding, both as a player and as a representative of his country. As usual, he was belting "A Portuguesa" before the game. During the game, he pulled off a series of outstanding saves, and he was only beaten when David Villa slammed a rebound off the crossbar and in. After the game, he looked gutted, and deservedly so given the effort he put in. He's not a household name and he doesn't play for a big club, but he would be a good shout for the team of the tournament. He and young left-back Fábio Coentrão (and possibly Carvalho) were the only Portuguese players to come out of the World Cup with any credit.
It's onwards and upwards for Spain against Paraguay. Spain haven't really been tested in this tournament - fluke defeat against Switzerland notwithstanding - and given the evidence from earlier today, it will be an easy win over the South Americans.
It seems like a long time ago that people actually used to debate whether or not Messi or Ronaldo was the better player. On that performance, Ronaldo shouldn't even be mentioned in the same sentence as Messi. Perhaps Sir Alex has once again sold a player to Madrid at the exact right time. Ronaldo only contributed against North Korea, and you hardly have to be a world beater to do that.
In contrast, I thought the Portugal keeper Eduardo was absolutely outstanding, both as a player and as a representative of his country. As usual, he was belting "A Portuguesa" before the game. During the game, he pulled off a series of outstanding saves, and he was only beaten when David Villa slammed a rebound off the crossbar and in. After the game, he looked gutted, and deservedly so given the effort he put in. He's not a household name and he doesn't play for a big club, but he would be a good shout for the team of the tournament. He and young left-back Fábio Coentrão (and possibly Carvalho) were the only Portuguese players to come out of the World Cup with any credit.
It's onwards and upwards for Spain against Paraguay. Spain haven't really been tested in this tournament - fluke defeat against Switzerland notwithstanding - and given the evidence from earlier today, it will be an easy win over the South Americans.
If You Can't Say Anything Nice, Don't Say Anything At All
With that said, here are my thoughts on the Paraguay vs. Japan game:
That is all.
That is all.
It's Not Easy Being Dunga
I wouldn't quite sell my soul for a USA 3-0 World Cup Round of 16 victory, but I would gladly don a flesh-colored body stocking and run around the stadium a la George Costanza. A 3-0 win at the World Cup is always an impressive achievement, unless perhaps you're playing the DPRK. Still, my friend and I came out of last night's match between Brazil and Chile thinking, man, what a terrible game.
Part of the problem was that Chile really never showed up for this game. Once they went down 2-0 by half time they never looked like getting back into it. They had a few late chances but Brazil were comfortable and deserved winners.
The other issue is that this Brazil team simply doesn't have the flair of the 1970 or1982 editions. That's what you might expect from coach Dunga, who as a player was more of a midfield destroyer than a stylish Garrincha. In fact, the early 90's was known in Brazil as Era Dunga for the perceived boring, negative style of play. Some of these people need to watch a Bolton game, for God's sake.
This has been reflected in his team selection. While predecessor Carlos Alberto Parreira tried to shoehorn as many attackers as possible into his team as possible (Adriano, Ronaldinho, Ronaldo, Kaka, Robinho . . .) Dunga has taken a much more pragmatic view and his first choice team includes two holding midfielders, Gilberto Silva and Felipe Melo. He even left Ronaldinho in Milan. You can't argue with the results, as they breezed through qualifying and are easily into the quarterfinals. As a Bolton supporter, I understand it's better to win ugly than lose beautifully.
Still, it's hard to escape the idea that for $200, I should have gotten more enjoyment from a Brazil game.
Part of the problem was that Chile really never showed up for this game. Once they went down 2-0 by half time they never looked like getting back into it. They had a few late chances but Brazil were comfortable and deserved winners.
The other issue is that this Brazil team simply doesn't have the flair of the 1970 or1982 editions. That's what you might expect from coach Dunga, who as a player was more of a midfield destroyer than a stylish Garrincha. In fact, the early 90's was known in Brazil as Era Dunga for the perceived boring, negative style of play. Some of these people need to watch a Bolton game, for God's sake.
This has been reflected in his team selection. While predecessor Carlos Alberto Parreira tried to shoehorn as many attackers as possible into his team as possible (Adriano, Ronaldinho, Ronaldo, Kaka, Robinho . . .) Dunga has taken a much more pragmatic view and his first choice team includes two holding midfielders, Gilberto Silva and Felipe Melo. He even left Ronaldinho in Milan. You can't argue with the results, as they breezed through qualifying and are easily into the quarterfinals. As a Bolton supporter, I understand it's better to win ugly than lose beautifully.
Still, it's hard to escape the idea that for $200, I should have gotten more enjoyment from a Brazil game.
Jorge Larrionda Strikes Again
As I was watching the highlights of the England vs. Germany match, the match that included Frank Lampard's now infamous "ghost goal," a certain piece of information caught my ear. The referee for the match was Jorge Larrionda from Uruguay. Sound familiar? If you're American, it probably does.
Larrionda was the referee in the infamous USA vs. Italy match in the 2006 World Cup. He correctly sent off Daniele De Rossi for a brutal, blood-drawing elbow on Brian McBride. He then proceeded to send off Pablo Mastroeni and Eddie Pope for the USA, which were both widely regarded as "make-up calls" by American commentators. Three years later, he questionably sent off Michael Bradley in the semi-final of the Confederations Cup, causing him to miss the final against Brazil.
One would think that perhaps Larrionda is biased against the United States. However, the horrendous call regarding Lampard's goal and the fact that he missed a handball in the Australia vs. Serbia game (if Serbia had scored the subsequent penalty, they would have gone through to the Round of 16) raises the possibility that he is simply incompetent. There is, however, another possibility.
Larrionda was selected as a referee for the 2002 World Cup, but did not take part after he was suspended by the Uruguayan FA for six months. The reason? According to Wikipedia, it was due to "irregularities that were denounced by other referees." ESPN goes further: "The suspensions reportedly were connected with accusations of corruption between members of rival unions that represent Uruguay's match officials." While he did not referee in 2002, he was inexplicably chosen for 2006 and 2010, despite questionable performances and a suspicious suspension from his own country.
FIFA President Sepp Blatter has since apologized to England and said they would look into goal-line technology. However, FIFA's history of employing this incompetent - and quite possibly "irregular," whatever that means - referee suggests that they simply don't care very much about getting big calls right.
Larrionda was the referee in the infamous USA vs. Italy match in the 2006 World Cup. He correctly sent off Daniele De Rossi for a brutal, blood-drawing elbow on Brian McBride. He then proceeded to send off Pablo Mastroeni and Eddie Pope for the USA, which were both widely regarded as "make-up calls" by American commentators. Three years later, he questionably sent off Michael Bradley in the semi-final of the Confederations Cup, causing him to miss the final against Brazil.
One would think that perhaps Larrionda is biased against the United States. However, the horrendous call regarding Lampard's goal and the fact that he missed a handball in the Australia vs. Serbia game (if Serbia had scored the subsequent penalty, they would have gone through to the Round of 16) raises the possibility that he is simply incompetent. There is, however, another possibility.
Larrionda was selected as a referee for the 2002 World Cup, but did not take part after he was suspended by the Uruguayan FA for six months. The reason? According to Wikipedia, it was due to "irregularities that were denounced by other referees." ESPN goes further: "The suspensions reportedly were connected with accusations of corruption between members of rival unions that represent Uruguay's match officials." While he did not referee in 2002, he was inexplicably chosen for 2006 and 2010, despite questionable performances and a suspicious suspension from his own country.
FIFA President Sepp Blatter has since apologized to England and said they would look into goal-line technology. However, FIFA's history of employing this incompetent - and quite possibly "irregular," whatever that means - referee suggests that they simply don't care very much about getting big calls right.
Scalped
FIFA took measures to limit ticket re-selling, sometimes less charitably known as "scalping." In order to claim your tickets in South Africa, you needed to present the credit card that they were purchased with. Obviously, if you bought tickets online from somebody in the States and they weren't in South Africa to claim them for you, you're SOL.
Furthermore, the name of the purchaser is printed on the tickets. Theoretically this should prevent re-selling, as they will check your ticket against your passport at the gate. Presumably a major reason for this is to keep tickets out of the hands of known hooligans, or to provide a method for tracking down people who cause trouble in the stadium. I ran afoul of this system when I was in Italy trying to pick up Fiorentina tickets. It was the first game of the season and the process was agonizingly slow, leading to huge lines at the ticket centers and causing me to miss 30 minutes of the match. In fairness, they at least checked my passport at the gate, thus fulfilling the purpose of the system.
At no point in South Africa has anybody verified the name on my ticket, and plenty of my friends had picked up tickets outside the stadium and gotten in, indicating that FIFA has somehow managed to be less efficient than the corruption-riddled Italian FA. This emboldened me to buy tickets for the Brazil vs. Chile game off the internet, as it was in Johannesburg and I had declined to go to Durban for the Netherlands vs. Slovakia game.
One thing I noticed is that some people are wildly optimistic when it comes to selling their tickets. A friend of a friend was selling Category 2 tickets but wanted $600 for them - four times the face value. Let me reiterate that this price was quoted to me just hours before the game. Where did he think he'd find that kind of sucker in that kind of time? With that avenue having failed, I turned to Craigslist. Again, the disconnect from reality was staggering. I mean, four hours before the game, people were asking for $100 above face value. Surely if you haven't found a buyer at that point it's time to give up on dreams of turning a profit and just hope you can make your money back.
Indeed, I was able to find a much more reasonable gentleman who was selling good seats for their face value and was able to meet us at the stadium. Of course, you're always a bit nervous that these will turn out to be fake, but my friend and I were able to get in and take our seats and watch a game that was in no way worth the face value of the tickets. More on that later.
Furthermore, the name of the purchaser is printed on the tickets. Theoretically this should prevent re-selling, as they will check your ticket against your passport at the gate. Presumably a major reason for this is to keep tickets out of the hands of known hooligans, or to provide a method for tracking down people who cause trouble in the stadium. I ran afoul of this system when I was in Italy trying to pick up Fiorentina tickets. It was the first game of the season and the process was agonizingly slow, leading to huge lines at the ticket centers and causing me to miss 30 minutes of the match. In fairness, they at least checked my passport at the gate, thus fulfilling the purpose of the system.
At no point in South Africa has anybody verified the name on my ticket, and plenty of my friends had picked up tickets outside the stadium and gotten in, indicating that FIFA has somehow managed to be less efficient than the corruption-riddled Italian FA. This emboldened me to buy tickets for the Brazil vs. Chile game off the internet, as it was in Johannesburg and I had declined to go to Durban for the Netherlands vs. Slovakia game.
One thing I noticed is that some people are wildly optimistic when it comes to selling their tickets. A friend of a friend was selling Category 2 tickets but wanted $600 for them - four times the face value. Let me reiterate that this price was quoted to me just hours before the game. Where did he think he'd find that kind of sucker in that kind of time? With that avenue having failed, I turned to Craigslist. Again, the disconnect from reality was staggering. I mean, four hours before the game, people were asking for $100 above face value. Surely if you haven't found a buyer at that point it's time to give up on dreams of turning a profit and just hope you can make your money back.
Indeed, I was able to find a much more reasonable gentleman who was selling good seats for their face value and was able to meet us at the stadium. Of course, you're always a bit nervous that these will turn out to be fake, but my friend and I were able to get in and take our seats and watch a game that was in no way worth the face value of the tickets. More on that later.
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